Answers..Kind of....Sort of...Not really?

  We saw Kathleen (our midwife) again yesterday and finally got some good news. The results from the fetal fibrinectomy were received yesterday and the results were negative. This means I have only a 5% chance of going into preterm labor in the next - well, week now. (This test can be performed every two weeks as necessary to see whether things chance.) This, coupled with how good my cervix looked, makes my midwife think I still have a low-risk pregnancy, which is great.
  At the risk of sounding ungrateful for this good news, however, I unfortunately am still frustrated. We have no definite answer as to why I am contracting so much. More frustrating still is the fact that Kathleen can't really give us much guidance in what to do except to "take it easy." I am not to exercise, walk much, lift anything. I have no clear cut answer on how many contractions is too many contractions. I am officially off of bed rest, but have to take each day carefully and cautiously.
  Our best guess at this point is that because of my Endometriosis and Adenomyosis I have an "excitable uterus." My cervix is good for now, but if I push myself too hard that could change. Or we could, as Kathleen was so kind to point out, go to 42 weeks constantly contracting and never going into active labor. I know David was frustrated by me last night as we left Kathleen's office because we had gotten the best news possible for our situation and all I could focus on was non-stop contractions for the next 10 weeks.
  Additionally, Kathleen couldn't really give me an answer about going back to work. She said the ideal would be for me to stay home (duh) and rest as much as possible. If I do go back to work, then I can only sit at my desk (no rooming patients, which is a big part of my job), and then if I am in too much pain I need to go home. I am still waiting to hear whether my employer is okay with any of that.

  So that's where we are right now. David is relieved. I am thankful and frustrated by the lack of direction. Sammy is kicking harder than ever. I cannot thank everyone enough for the amount of prayers, encouragement and offers for help we have already received. I definitely felt the prayer coverage last week in the amount of peace I felt in waiting. I plead now for your prayers for peace with the answers we have received, as they were not quite what I was expecting. I ask for prayer that my job situation would be resolved quickly - whatever that outcome may be. I beg for prayers for discernment in my daily activities and to know when to stop and rest. Not knowing whether I can or should clean my home or cook is extremely frustrating. I ask for prayers for strength and grace in the contractions; after two weeks the pain is already wearing on me.
  Again, with words much more simple than what our hearts feel, we thank you.

David, Emily and Sam

The Waiting Game

  Bed Rest: Day 6. Time to update - as much of an update as we have right now.

  On Wednesday (our third anniversary), David and I went to see my midwife's consulting physician. After talking for a minute, the doctor recommended a fetal fibrinectomy (read what that is here) and/or a sonogram to check my cervix. The test, he said, would show either a negative result which means that I only have a 5% chance of going into preterm labor in the next two weeks or a positive, which would then mean a 50% chance of going into preterm labor in the next two weeks. After learning that the test was non-invasive for the baby, we decided that we wanted both.
  The sono showed that my cervix looked good on the inside, was at least 3 1/2 centimeters thick and had no funneling, so the doctor didn't think that sending the test off to the lab was even necessary - until I told him exactly how much I have been contracting. He said that even though my cervix looked good, the fact that I was having up to ten contractions an hour when active was abnormal - though he said he would be surprised, based on the sonogram, to see a positive result from the test. He would send the results over to our midwife the next day.
  David and I left encouraged, hopeful that we would receive a negative result on the fetal fibrinectomy although unsure what that meant for my contractions. We enjoyed a nice lunch at Olive Garden, hit two 7-11's in our anniversary tradition, and then put me back in bed.
  Late Thursday afternoon I called Kathleen to see if she had received the results yet from the doctor's office. She hadn't, so I called the doctor; they hadn't received the results back from the lab. They would "hopefully" have them in on Friday. When I mentioned that Kathleen doesn't keep Friday office hours, they assured me that they would fax them over to the office and call Kathleen's cell phone, should they come in. They didn't. When I asked their office why a test that was supposed to take 24 hours hadn't been received yet, I was told "the lab must be backed up."

  And so David and I have been relegated to going back to the original plan of waiting until Monday afternoon to see Kathleen again to have any answers. I have been frustrated by this - since I feel we were given some false hope on Wednesday - but am still managing to find peace and understanding. I have remained more patient, in fact, than David has which is highly unusual. I truly believe that my peace with this has only come from the prayer coverage we have right now, and so I again thank you.
  I am still averaging 2-5 contractions and hour in bed, am still guaranteed at least one contraction whenever I stand even just to go to the bathroom, am still contracting more at night (8 an hour last night for two hours). It seems to David and me that even if the results from the test are good that I will have to remain on bed rest to keep our anxious little boy in me. Several people have suggested that my uterus might be more excitable because of my Endometriosis; we don't know. The doctor said that if the test showed my chances small of preterm labor then I might be allowed to "just contract away" and return to normal activity. Yes, it was a man.
  We are hoping for good news tomorrow with Kathleen - but to be absolutely honest, I don't know what good news is for us right now. I think that I am emotionally prepared to be told I have to stay in bed for at least the next seven weeks, but my body cries out at that idea. I think I am less prepared, actually, for the prospect of being told to return to work and put my body through the stress of constant contractions. I know that David is just wanting an answer one way or another so that he can better know what steps to take for his family and what to expect for us financially.
  So hopefully tomorrow we will have answers - and peace for whatever those answers may be. I cannot thank you all enough for your encouragement, prayers and those (especially) who have stopped by this week. We humbly ask you to continue to pray for peace for us for whatever our outcome is, for health for Sammy (who I am happy to say is still driving his Mommy nuts with his activity level), and that if - God forbid - there is some reason that he should come out early that we would know and be given peace about that. Again, from the bottom of our hearts, we thank you.

David, Emily and Sammy

Welcome to Week 29: Bed Rest

   I started noticing Braxton Hicks contractions about a month ago and was monitoring them closely. I was only having 2-4 an hour, they were only a 2-3 in pain and didn't usually last longer than a minute. Then a week ago they started coming much more frequently; I was having between 5 and 10 an hour, depending on how active I was. They were a 3-4 in pain and usually lasted about a minute and a half. I spoke to my midwife when they peaked at 10/hour and she told me to stay off my feet as much as possible, take more magnesium and drink lots of fluids. If they peaked that high again I was to go into the nearest hospital for observation. I had my monthly appointment already scheduled with her for the 9th, so we didn't schedule one sooner. I thankfully had the week off after Tuesday, so I took it as easy as possible, spent almost all of Friday and Saturday in bed, and was only having contractions 3-4 times an hour as long as I was down, and 4-6 if I stood for more than fifteen minutes.
  At my appointment yesterday with my midwife, Kathleen, she wasn't concerned and told me I should be able to go back to work fully, no problems as long as the contractions didn't double in number or in pain, until she checked my cervix. She said I was at a -2 station (which is fine) and that my cervix was closed but  was 50% thinner than it should be. Instead of being 1/2-1" thick, it's only 1/4". 
  I'm scheduled for a sonogram tomorrow at 10am with her consulting physician to check my cervical length to see if maybe it's thicker on the inside than the outside. There's a possibility that this is normal for me, that my previous surgery for my Endometriosis may have caused this somehow, that my tilted uterus may be putting pressure on it - we don't know. I'm very hopeful that tomorrow will give us some answers. 


  For this week at least, I'm on complete bed rest, not even supposed to sit up for more than an hour. I'm taking a lot of calcium and magnesium and red raspberry leaf and nettle to try to calm my uterus. I am fervently praying that I don't have to take any medications (especially since I was told that the one I would most likely be prescribed would cause hot flashes and anxiety as a side effect). More than anything, of course, we just want out little boy to make it inside me to at least 36 weeks safe, healthy and strong. If my contractions peak at 5/hour again, I am supposed to go the hospital for observation. I really don't want to have to do that - more because I don't want any drugs or decisions that could harm my son than for any other reason. 
  We cannot tell you how much we appreciate those of you who are joining in with us in praying. Here are some specific requests we have right now:
For answers: What is causing this? Is it just Braxton Hicks or preterm labor? How long is bed rest necessary? How do we keep our Bean safest?
For peace: We may be losing my income much sooner than we planned and we're moving in the next month.
For discernment: Should we need medical intervention, as this is definitely not in our plans.
For Sam: That he would continue to grow strong and healthy inside Mommy until at least 36 weeks (7 weeks from now) so that we can have a safe and healthy delivery at home.
For our midwife, Kathleen: That God would give her the proper guidance in how best and safest to grow and deliver our little boy.


  Words cannot express how much we love and appreciate each one of our wonderful friends and family and how overwhelmed we are by the offers to help. We love you all so much and consider ourselves immeasurably blessed to have each one of you in our lives. (Great, not I'm crying..) Thank you.


Emily, David and Sam

I Think I Can, I Think I Can...

  Week 28 and the third trimester begin today, staring me down with eyes that say, "Enjoy it while you can - we may just put you on bed rest." I have been having persistent and frequent Braxton Hicks contractions since Saturday evening; persistent and frequent (and painful) enough, in fact, that there was concern Sunday that I was going into preterm labor. Much magnesium, fluids and (some) rest later, they have gone back down to "only" 2-4 per hour. Unfortunately they kick right back up when I stand on my feet for more than about ten minutes at a time. 

  Thankfully, this week I was only scheduled to work Monday and Tuesday so I can try to really rest this week and see if they subside more. I have really been wrestling through apprehension about next week and what will happen if they flare back up when I return to a full work week though.

  Add to this stress the fact that we are supposed to be starting to pack to move in a month and a half, and this mama-to-be is fit to be tied. Oh yes, David and I will be temporarily moving into some dear friends' house sometime in August, getting us out of our one-bedroom apartment while we try to buy a house. (We are so very, very grateful for our friends letting us live in their home in this transitional time.)

  Thank God for wonderful friends like Amber, who encouraged me to read Philippians chapter 4 yesterday. 

 "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice...The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus...for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content... I can do all things through him who strengthens me." - Even, though I pray God forbids it, bed rest.

  David and I cannot believe we are just 12 short weeks away from meeting our little Samuel Levi. So much has to happen between now and when he comes that sometimes we are completely overwhelmed. We are so indescribably thankful for our incredible network of family and friends who are supporting us through this journey. It means more than we can say to know that you are praying with and for us and share in our excitement. We especially covet your prayers as we try to understand what God's plan is for my body and sweet boy and where we will begin our life as a family of 3 together. We love you all.

David, Emily and Sammy