**Warning: This contains all the details of Sam's birth. If you do not want all the details, do not read this.**
So at around 5:30am, Kathleen and Crissi left us to try to rest. I called my mom for the second time (I had called her at 1:30am to let her know Kathleen was on her way and to be "on alert") and told her that it was just early labor right now and we would call her again when that changed and she could head our way. David poured me some more wine and we turned off the lights and music and tried to sleep. Well, I tried to sleep. David passed out immediately.
About thirty minutes after they left, my contractions got intense. As each one would hit, I would start moaning and David would wake up enough to push his fists into my lower back as hard as he could while we were both lying in bed. I was feeling at least 70% of each contraction in my back because of Sam's position. With each contraction I also felt more and more nausea because of the level of pain. I promptly threw up the wine I had tried to sip about ten minutes after Kathleen left. The pain became to awful, so incredibly, unbearably intense that I couldn't think, couldn't breathe, couldn't relax, couldn't tense up, couldn't find anything or any position to make the pain manageable. It felt like it just kept building up and building up...
Sometime around then (about 6am) I posted on facebook that I was in labor and begged prayers for Sam's head to turn. I remember several times praying between contractions, Please, God, just let this next contraction be less painful. Please, let this next one not be as bad. Two or three times, God answered that prayer for me. The rest of the time was just dark pain. I had read stories of women going to this dark place in their labor, had heard women say that this could be a deeply spiritual place - but in those hours, I could not think through the pain at all. I just kept thinking in the in-between that if this is early labor, I can not handle active labor. I was terrified of the pain increasing; I couldn't fathom it.
At 8am I handed David my phone and asked him to call Kathleen and, "Tell her I can't do it anymore." I thought that I was going to have to go to the hospital and have him cut out of me. I just could not handle the pain anymore. The only thing that had kept me from telling him to drive me to the hospital in those hours was the knowledge that if we went, I would absolutely not get to have the delivery I wanted, would not get my skin-to-skin contact, would have to fight them on not putting the eye drops in his eyes and not immunizing him. The timing of the contractions was irregular - sometimes three minutes apart and then five and then two - but I was at my limit. Plus, I noticed through the haze that all of my pelvic muscles were starting to push down and I couldn't really fight it. Kathleen suggested we go to my chiropractor and try to see if she could adjust me and turn his head and then we could go to the birthing center for an injection of pain medication. She said to call her if my water broke or I started to feel "pushy". I told her I had felt pushy for the last five contractions. At this point I started thinking of my Aunt Lynn, whom my mom had told me had felt the urge to push during her entire labor with all three of her pregnancies, and became even more afraid that I would suffer through this same experience. I was just lying in bed imagining how horrible labor would be stuck in a car, unable to change positions at all when Kathleen called back two minutes later. Apparently she had been on the phone with her assistant and realized "She sounded different!" She asked David if I was what she was hearing in the background. (It was right around this time that a contraction hit that was so hard that I practically levitated off the bed and onto all fours in an effort to find some position that didn't make me want to die.) When he said yes, she said she was on her way.
Within ten to fifteen minutes of his getting off the phone again, I suddenly cried out - Sam had turned his head (which was incredibly painful). I feebly prayed that it was the right direction as another contraction hit. I would later go back through my text messages and facebook and realize that it was around 8am that most of my friends and family began responding to my request for prayer and started lifting us up.
Kathleen arrived some time between 8:30 and 9am, saying she "flew" all the way to us. She immediately came in and turned on her Dopler to listen to Sam's heartbeat. She put it on my belly where he had been before...and then lowered it....and then lowered it some more before finding it. "Oh, that baby's dropped," she said. "We're having a baby!" She then set up the bed to check my cervix; this was the moment I had been dreading. I was sure she would tell us I was only 5-6cms and I didn't know how I would be able to handle that news. Praise God, I didn't have to. Kathleen looked up at me with a shocked smile and said, "Holy cow, girl! You're at 9[cms]!" I had dilated 6cms in just over two hours; David and I had gone through all of active and transitional labor by ourselves (with him trying to sleep through it!) and now it was time to push!
I looked over at David and told him he needed to call my mom. I still smile remembering David telling her I was at 9cms and hearing my mom shout, "Why didn't you call me?!" through the phone. David tried to explain that we hadn't known! I then told him he should call his parents too and tell them to head over, since things were progressing so quickly. I remember staring at the ceiling and thinking, God will have here whoever is supposed to be here, even though my plan was to have both of my parents in our room for the delivery.
Sometime shortly after this, Crissi walked in - oh, thank God for Crissi. And shortly after that - I think around 9:30 - Kathleen's assistant, Lisa, arrived in a rush. And then it was time to push.
So at around 5:30am, Kathleen and Crissi left us to try to rest. I called my mom for the second time (I had called her at 1:30am to let her know Kathleen was on her way and to be "on alert") and told her that it was just early labor right now and we would call her again when that changed and she could head our way. David poured me some more wine and we turned off the lights and music and tried to sleep. Well, I tried to sleep. David passed out immediately.
About thirty minutes after they left, my contractions got intense. As each one would hit, I would start moaning and David would wake up enough to push his fists into my lower back as hard as he could while we were both lying in bed. I was feeling at least 70% of each contraction in my back because of Sam's position. With each contraction I also felt more and more nausea because of the level of pain. I promptly threw up the wine I had tried to sip about ten minutes after Kathleen left. The pain became to awful, so incredibly, unbearably intense that I couldn't think, couldn't breathe, couldn't relax, couldn't tense up, couldn't find anything or any position to make the pain manageable. It felt like it just kept building up and building up...
Sometime around then (about 6am) I posted on facebook that I was in labor and begged prayers for Sam's head to turn. I remember several times praying between contractions, Please, God, just let this next contraction be less painful. Please, let this next one not be as bad. Two or three times, God answered that prayer for me. The rest of the time was just dark pain. I had read stories of women going to this dark place in their labor, had heard women say that this could be a deeply spiritual place - but in those hours, I could not think through the pain at all. I just kept thinking in the in-between that if this is early labor, I can not handle active labor. I was terrified of the pain increasing; I couldn't fathom it.
At 8am I handed David my phone and asked him to call Kathleen and, "Tell her I can't do it anymore." I thought that I was going to have to go to the hospital and have him cut out of me. I just could not handle the pain anymore. The only thing that had kept me from telling him to drive me to the hospital in those hours was the knowledge that if we went, I would absolutely not get to have the delivery I wanted, would not get my skin-to-skin contact, would have to fight them on not putting the eye drops in his eyes and not immunizing him. The timing of the contractions was irregular - sometimes three minutes apart and then five and then two - but I was at my limit. Plus, I noticed through the haze that all of my pelvic muscles were starting to push down and I couldn't really fight it. Kathleen suggested we go to my chiropractor and try to see if she could adjust me and turn his head and then we could go to the birthing center for an injection of pain medication. She said to call her if my water broke or I started to feel "pushy". I told her I had felt pushy for the last five contractions. At this point I started thinking of my Aunt Lynn, whom my mom had told me had felt the urge to push during her entire labor with all three of her pregnancies, and became even more afraid that I would suffer through this same experience. I was just lying in bed imagining how horrible labor would be stuck in a car, unable to change positions at all when Kathleen called back two minutes later. Apparently she had been on the phone with her assistant and realized "She sounded different!" She asked David if I was what she was hearing in the background. (It was right around this time that a contraction hit that was so hard that I practically levitated off the bed and onto all fours in an effort to find some position that didn't make me want to die.) When he said yes, she said she was on her way.
Within ten to fifteen minutes of his getting off the phone again, I suddenly cried out - Sam had turned his head (which was incredibly painful). I feebly prayed that it was the right direction as another contraction hit. I would later go back through my text messages and facebook and realize that it was around 8am that most of my friends and family began responding to my request for prayer and started lifting us up.
Kathleen arrived some time between 8:30 and 9am, saying she "flew" all the way to us. She immediately came in and turned on her Dopler to listen to Sam's heartbeat. She put it on my belly where he had been before...and then lowered it....and then lowered it some more before finding it. "Oh, that baby's dropped," she said. "We're having a baby!" She then set up the bed to check my cervix; this was the moment I had been dreading. I was sure she would tell us I was only 5-6cms and I didn't know how I would be able to handle that news. Praise God, I didn't have to. Kathleen looked up at me with a shocked smile and said, "Holy cow, girl! You're at 9[cms]!" I had dilated 6cms in just over two hours; David and I had gone through all of active and transitional labor by ourselves (with him trying to sleep through it!) and now it was time to push!
I looked over at David and told him he needed to call my mom. I still smile remembering David telling her I was at 9cms and hearing my mom shout, "Why didn't you call me?!" through the phone. David tried to explain that we hadn't known! I then told him he should call his parents too and tell them to head over, since things were progressing so quickly. I remember staring at the ceiling and thinking, God will have here whoever is supposed to be here, even though my plan was to have both of my parents in our room for the delivery.
Sometime shortly after this, Crissi walked in - oh, thank God for Crissi. And shortly after that - I think around 9:30 - Kathleen's assistant, Lisa, arrived in a rush. And then it was time to push.
Haha, you might have just reconfirmed my desire for an epidural when the time comes for Patrick and I! :-P
ReplyDelete