Prayer

  As most of my friends know, almost exactly two years ago I had surgery on my left shoulder to repair a post-labral tear (the tissue that holds the shoulder joint in place). This tear had been undetectable for a year and a half, and so I had just been living in pain until the exploratory surgery. The repair was delicate and the recovery process six months long, and the first couple of months were difficult, but manageable.

  Two days ago I started having loud pops in my shoulder - not particular unusual. I had somewhere between 2 and 4 in two days. And then last night I noticed that I very suddenly had full range of motion back (I'd only had 80-90% until now), and my shoulder felt like it was grinding when I moved it. And then the pain started.

  I think my repair has come undone.

  I am terrified.

  And I am facing two major dilemmas right now.

1. David is about to change jobs, which will mean new insurance. Right now I haven't seen a doctor for my shoulder in a year and a half. If I see one now, our new insurance provider may consider this issue to be "pre-existing" and not cover it. I am already in the level of pain that matches that of my pre-op days. Do I go in right away or do I wait? Will it make a difference for my shoulder? I don't know what to do.

2. If I have undone my repair, and I require surgery again...what do I do? I wouldn't be able to hold my baby for 3 months, possibly more. And I won't be able to nurse anymore because of all the drugs. And with my Endometriosis, we were told to have all the children we want immediately. So do we wait until I'm done recovering from another potential operation to try to have another baby? Will we be able to have another baby then? Sammy was a miracle. Will God give us two miracles? I don't know what to do.

And I guess I have a third dilemma: What do I do about the pain? Before my operation, my pain was constant, I mean truly non-stop. At best, it was a constant, dull "4" on the pain scale of 10. I couldn't do laundry, I couldn't do dishes, I couldn't even make the bed most days because of how much it would hurt me. And I now have a nearly 18lb. baby (who gained two pounds in two weeks). Before my operation, narcotics were the only thing that worked, and I hated it. I was constantly a little high, constantly worrying how much more my body could take... And I'm nursing now. I don't know what to do.

  Please pray for me as I - we - wrestle through these questions. I know that everything at this point is just hypothetical, I know that I shouldn't worry... I just struggled through this pain for a year and a half - two, if you count the post-op time. I am terrified of what this pain will do to my poor baby when I can't pick him up every time he wants me. I'm already struggling through that today, and we're both miserable for it. It's daunting. It's overwhelming. And I don't know what to do.

Easy-Peasy Dinners, Pt. 1: Ranch Rotisserie Chicken Pasta

  This was another Pinterest recipe with which I took some creative liberties. When I had to run through the grocery store last week around dinner time, I decided to pick up a rotisserie chicken, remembering I had seen something online with recipes to "fix it up". I used one of the recipes I found the first night and it was good...But added my own little twist to it when I made it the next night (a rotisserie chicken can last a while between two people when you know how to do it right!). And the best part? Dinner's ready, start to finish, in ten minutes. Here's what I did:

Ranch Rotisserie Chicken Pasta

• 1/2 boxed pasta - I used Barilla's bowtie, but shells or rigatoni would work just as well!
• 3 Tbs butter
• 2-3 Tbs flour
• 1 package dry Ranch seasoning mix
• 2 cups milk or Half & Half (less flour if you're using the thicker dairy product)
• 1/2 cup Swiss cheese, either sliced thinly or shredded (any cheese will work, but the Swiss and Ranch flavors combine nicely)
• 1/2 medium-sized yellow onion, chopped
• 1 tsp black pepper
• 2 cups of shredded rotisserie chicken  (approximately 1 leg/thigh quarter of the chicken)

1. Cook the pasta according to the directions on the box and then drain.

2. While this is cooking, in a medium-sized pot, on a medium-low heat melt 1 Tbs of the butter and then sautee the onion until it's opaque. Lower the heat and then add the remaining butter. Once it's melted, add the flour and whisk until it makes a thick, bubbling paste. Slowly combine the milk until thickened and bubbling. Cook 1 additional minute, then add the cheese. (The original recipe called for "shredded" cheese here, but I had deli slices, so I used about four of those and it was perfect!) Turn the heat to "low" and add the Ranch and pepper and combine. Last, add the chicken and combine. 

3. Combine pasta and sauce and enjoy!* Dinner's done in 10 minutes! David could not stop going on about this recipe, even calling it his "new favorite dish" - possibly even over hamburgers! If you know my husband, you know a person could never receive a higher compliment on their cooking. I hope y'all enjoy this easy meal as much as we did!

*The original recipe called for crumbled bacon to be served on top of the dish, which I'm sure would be yummy! We just don't buy a lot of bacon and I used what we had. I also added a pinch of dried cilantro to the sauce and it was quite yummy, too. Also, this recipe was just enough for both David and I, so if feeding more, you'd want to at least double it.

Crockpot Chicken Enchiladas

  Brought to you by (my own take on) a Pinterest recipe! See, the recipe I found really just called for "chicken breasts, enchilada sauce, taco seasoning, shredded cheese, green onions and some cilantro on top." No other information - no timing instructions, no explanation of what "enchilada sauce" is or where to find it, nothing. So I did what every other great chef of the day does: I took to the interweb.

  After a little while, I found what looked like a good recipe for enchilada sauce - and in a stroke of luck, I had all the ingredients!

Enchilada Sauce

1/2 Cup butter

1/2 Cup flour (for gluten-free, use about 4 Tbs. of corn starch)

2 tsp. chili powder

1 tsp. cumin

1 tsp. garlic powder

1 tsp. onion powder (I subbed onion flakes)

1 tsp. black pepper

4 Cups broth or boullion

1 8oz. can tomato sauce

1. Melt butter into medium-size pot and then add flour and mix until you have a smooth paste. 

2. Add the spices and continue to stir until bubbly.

3. Whisk in broth and bring to a boil. Cook 1 minute or until the sauce is thickened.

Makes 5-6 cups of sauce, enough for two 9x13 pans of enchiladas. 

Crockpot Chicken Enchiladas

1 lb. boneless skinless chicken breasts

1/2 the enchilada sauce

1 pkt. taco seasoning OR 1 10oz. can Rotel

Cook the chicken, enchilada sauce and seasoning or Rotel in the crockpot on high for 3-4 hours or on low for 5-6 hours. Serve with rice and/or tortillas, shredded cheese and cilantro.

  I forgot to add the Rotel like I meant to, but the chicken was still really yummy. I actually cooked 2lbs of chicken and used all the sauce (I would have frozen the remainder if I had only done 1lb) and it fed 4 people two helpings each! I also meant to take a picture of how it turned out, but we ate it all too quickly. The chicken was moist, tender and almost fell apart on its own. It was super easy, too! I just made the sauce the night before so I could throw it all in the pot early in the morning and have it ready for lunch after church. I hope y'all enjoy it as much as we did! And let me know if you find your own ways to tweak it and make it yummier!

For New Mommies

  Dear Mommy-To-Be's,

  This is my letter to you, the expectant-with-no-idea-what-to-expect friend. Here are the things that have saved our life and the things we found to be unnecessary. This is my love letter to you.

Things That Weren't Needed:

• Wipe warmer - though this was handy the first couple days, when baby is most aware of the cold, it really wasn't necessary. Even our little boy adjusted pretty quickly.
• A Sling - while you will need a carrying system (see below), the sling did not work for us. Sammy was in a wonky position, it put too much weight on one shoulder, and he wasn't secure enough against me to allow me to do much. 
• A Truckload of Newborn Onesies - Judge me all you want, but I only changed Sam's outfit every two days at first. He simply didn't get dirty (nursing babies don't spit up for a while), and we were mostly just hanging out in bed. Also, he grew out of the newborn size fairly quickly. We mostly used gowns and a handful of onesies. 

Things That Saved Our Life:

• Our Stroller/Carseat Combo - The Britax B-Agile Travel System has been one of the best investments we've made. This system may not be the one for you, but I hope you find the one that is! And remember to consider:
• How much does your system weigh? If you'll be carting it around the most without your hubby, make sure you can manage it on your own! We "test drove" several systems that were highly recommended, but in the end, we chose the one that was both the safest and most easily carried for me. Our stroller only weighs 15 pounds, which was much easier for me to carry around (especially keeping in mind that my left shoulder is not what it used to be). 
• How easily does it move? Our system is a 3-wheeled breeze. In fact, sometimes it's too smooth a ride - and the lack of bumps and vibrations wakes Sam up. The carseat, too, is easily transferred from one car to another (though we're still going to buy another base for David's car). 
• What will you be using it for? Our stroller is really only used for walking around, and it's great for that! 

• Sign Up For Mailing Lists - this can save you beaucoups of $$. For example, we are on the Bed Bath & Beyond and BuyBuy Baby mailing lists and receive coupons all the time (BuyBuy will accept Bed Bath coupons). We took a 20% off coupon in with us to purchase our travel system and knocked 20% off of the $399 price tag. BIG help! 
• Bouncy Seat - this miracle allowed me to take a shower and cook food (even if I couldn't enjoy it while it was warm). By putting Sam in the bouncy seat in the bathroom or kitchen with me, I was able to do what I needed to and still keep the Toot happy for a short amount of time - at least enough to wash my hair or throw together a sandwich.
• Backseat Mirror - SERIOUSLY. This thing has made a huge difference in our car rides! Sam being able to see us via his mirror/my rearview mirror has made a world of difference. We have much fewer meltdowns now. It's my hero. 

• A Bottle Warmer - you can use a pot of water; we did for the first 3 months. And it works. BUT we  recently bought Dr. Brown's Deluxe Electric Bottle Warmer, and we have loved it. I did my research and it had the best reviews. It doesn't get yucky buildup, it can be used to sterilize, and you can the timer stays where you put it (not something all do). Our bottles now go from fridge to ready-for-Sam in 4 minutes. Thank you, Jesus!

• A Carrying System - I thank God often for my Moby wrap. After three weeks of literally losing my mind because Sam did not want to be put down at all, and our house becoming a war zone, and not being able even to eat somedays, I finally invested in a Moby. Possibly the best thing I've done since having Sam. The wrap allowed me to be able to do some chores (laundry, vacuuming, dishes) while still keeping Sam against me and calm. It took some adjusting - at first I would put him in it and then have to take him right back out because he would smell me and want to nurse - but we got the hang of it fairly quickly. And the Baby Bjorn that a friend lent us has been a huge blessing in our ventures in public. Sam hates being kept in his carseat, so the Bjorn has allowed us peaceful shopping trips, etc., where we didn't have them before. *I will add that the Moby, in particular, can get a little warm. For a while there (since it was still so hot outside until November), I would wear it around the house in a cami, with Sam only in a diaper.

• Having a Cradle in Our Room - Not having to get up and go across the apartment every time the baby made noise was a huge help. Having him so close also meant that I became very in tune with him very quickly. It also meant that he didn't have to get worked up waiting for us to get to him, and he went back to sleep more quickly. We didn't move him to his nursery until 8 weeks.
• Bath Support - We tried bathing Sammy in the sink, and it did work, but the bathtub was easier -- especially after we bought our Angelcare Bath Support for him and a knee pad for me! Now Sammy and Mommy enjoy bathtime, and I don't hurt or worry about him getting water stuck in his ears.

• Cool Mist Humidifier - this has been a tremendous help in Sam's breathing. When he was somewhere between 2 and 4 weeks old, he started to get horribly congested, especially at night, and it was scary. I called the doctor and this was one of her recommendations. The congestetion lasted a little over a month, but now he sounds fine at night. 

Things We Wish We'd Done Differently:

• Ask Your Family to Stay With You - you will kick yourself (I promise) if you don't. We didn't. And our first night was ROUGH. Now, mind you, we had a home birth, so we missed out on the help you get in the hospital the first few nights. If you are planning your birth this way, it won't be as big an adjustment. If, however, you are planning to use a midwife and will be going home that same day, GET HELP. I couldn't get out of bed, and David had no clue what he was doing, and it wasn't until 4:30am the next morning (nearly 48 hours without sleep) that we figured out that Sam would only stay asleep if I kept him on top of me (something else to keep in mind). Now, this makes total sense in hindsight. It was a big "duh" moment then! But if you have a parent with you, you might think of it sooner and save yourself some tears. 
• Sleep When Your Baby Sleeps - !!! I did not. I tried to get things done and spend time with my hubby. I went against every mom's advice. It is nearly impossible to fight these urges. But. You. Need. To. Again, you will save yourself tears. In the first 5 days of Sammy's life, I got about 10 hours of sleep. Please learn from my mistake. 
• Just Say NO - to company. Really. If you are overwhelmed, tell well-wishers "not right now" and then give them options for when you are up for visitors. Everyone wanted to visit us in the first week - and they were always bunched together. We had several days where we would have 2-3 visitors or groups of visitors (!) all in one day and it was overwhelming. They meant well, and we wanted to see them, but we should have made them spread out and let ourselves (and Sammy) rest more. 

  Most of all though, dear one, remember that you and your little one are individuals. What works for one mommy will not work for another. Take the advice you're given as that - advice. It's not a mandate, and you are not a failure (nor is your baby) if it doesn't work for you. 

  Example: Sam has, from day 1, hated sleeping on his back. If you put that baby on his back, he would wake himself right back up. Now, I am well aware that every doctor today will tell you that letting your infant sleep on his stomach is one of the worst things you can do. However, "they can drown in their vomit" was really the main reason I was given for this law. Sam was able to lift his head at birth, though, could easily turn his head, and I had already read research that stated that babies sleeping on their backs is the cause of so many infants now needing to wear helmets (because the pressure flattens their heads, which can cause brain damage). So I made an informed decision - to let him sleep on his stomach - that was appropriate for us. 

  One of the most helpful pieces of advice I have received came from my homegroup leader, Amber. She told me about a week after Sam was born that (verbatim) God gave Sam to me because He knew that I was the best mommy for him, that I would raise him the way God wanted him to be raised, and because my instincts for him would be best. The same is absolutely true for you. Remember when you're overwhelmed and tired and weeping (because the hormones just won't let you stop crying sometimes) that God gave you your baby - not someone else - because you know what is best for him or her...whether you always feel like it or not.

Pinteresting!

This week, I have finally found a little time to do some of the ideas I've seen on Pinterest! After trying the coconut oil on the hair trick (which worked fabulously!), I decided to try a recipe for what promised to be "just like Cinnabon" cinnamon rolls. So I gathered all the ingredients - I only had to go to the store for yeast - and set to work Saturday night. Here are the instructions - with my revisions and hints.

Ingredients:

1 cup warm milk 

2 eggs, room temperature

1/3 cup butter, melted 

4 1/2 cups bread flour or regular flour (bread flour makes for a lighter cinnamon roll)

1 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup white sugar

1 pkg yeast (1/4 ounce) 

Filling:

1 cup brown sugar, packed

2 1/2 tablespoons ground cinnamon

1/3 cup butter, softened 

Icing:

3 oz cream cheese, softened

1/4 cup (4 tablespoons) butter, softened

1 1/2 cups confectioners' sugar

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/8 teaspoon salt (I never use salt in my recipes though)

First, microwave the milk for 45-60 seconds in the microwave. Dissolve the yeast in the warm milk in a large bowl. Add sugar, butter, salt, eggs, and flour. Mix well. Knead dough into a large ball, using your hands dusted lightly with flour. Put it in a bowl sprayed with cooking spray and cover tightly with plastic wrap. Let the dough rise in a warm place about 1 hour or until it has doubled in size. 

Next, in a small bowl, thoroughly combine the brown sugar and cinnamon. Spray a flat surface with cooking spray or sprinkle flour on it. Roll dough into a 16x21 inch rectangle about 1/4 inch thick. Spread the dough with 1/3 cup softened butter and sprinkle evenly with the sugar/cinnamon mixture. Roll up the dough, starting with the longer side, and cut into 12 rolls (or more smaller rolls). Place the rolls in a lightly greased 9x13 inch glass baking dish. Cover and let rise until nearly doubled, about 30 minutes. After this, put them in the refrigerator for the next morning if you are doing them the night before (which I recommend). 

Meanwhile, preheat oven to 350 degrees. Bake the rolls until golden brown, about 18-20 minutes. While the rolls are baking, beat together cream cheese, butter, confectioners' sugar, vanilla extract and salt. Spread frosting on while they are still warm so that the frosting melts into the roll. 

A few tips:

I thought I could outsmart the instructions and put the dough in a Tupperware bowl with the lid on instead of a bowl with plastic wrap. Little hint: The lid will pop off. Also, I tried to cheat a little and left the dough a little thinner and shorter than the recipe called for - this made the rolls a little too thick and not as enjoyable. The last thing I recommend is doubling the frosting. I used what the recipe called for here and it was a little scant for my taste. (This might be improved, however, if you simply roll the dough out correctly.)

All in all: they were still a success! I can't wait to make them again (in a little while - the prep time is about 2 hours and 15 minutes including the time waiting for the dough to rise) and improve them!

My Husband, the Romantic

  Sometimes my husband can be the sweetest, most thoughtful man. He thanked me all through my pregnancy for "growing his baby." He told me frequently that he appreciated how little the pregnancy seemed to have affected me - that I was very reasonable and not demanding.
  He thanked me after I had Sam for how "awesome" I was in labor. He told me I was "his hero". And he tells me on our especially difficult days with our son that I am "a rockstar."
  He tells me daily how pretty I am, how much he loves me, how thankful he is that he married me.

  My husband can be a very sweet man. He can also be a horse's patoot. Here is an actual conversation we had the other night:
David: Have you given up on plucking your eyebrows, then?
Emily: What?? I just plucked them last night!
David: You did? Did Sammy leave behind a lot of testosterone?
Emily: ...?!?!
David: Wait! I mean - I - ... Can I come back from this?

  He has such a way with words.

The Year in Review

  What a year 2012 was for our little family. After ending 2011 with a few tears for our uncertain future because we weren't supposed to be able to get pregnant on our own, we received the thrill of a lifetime. The morning of Saturday, January 21st, David and I found out we would become a family of three!
  Telling our family and friends was amazing - the outpouring of excitement and those who truly shared our joy was a tremendous blessing.

  2012 also saw us developing relationships new and old. Getting to spend time with new friends (like the Elliots and Bakers) and getting to watch some of our favorite singles get married (like the Pascales and the Stewarts) made the year such a fun adventure! We laughed, we danced, we ate good barbecue, we saw midnight screenings.

  We were also overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and help when I was put on bed rest (several times) and since having Sam. Our sweet, sweet friends have brought food and puzzles and spent time with me or let me nap when I thought I was losing my sanity.

  2012 also saw us move (a couple feet) away from our small, third-floor, one-bedroom to the pretty two-bedroom where our Sammy was born. It's crazy how what we had in our tiny apartment filled up the new one! And I stopped working at the office and became a professional housewife! The few days that I've had the energy, I've absolutely adored it. I even bought an apron!

  But mostly, 2012 just saw Emily grow! 

  And then, one week after the above picture was taken, arriving on his due date (like no other baby would), Sammy made his arrival. And we were immediately and irrevocably, forever in love. 

  2012 was a tremendous year for us, the biggest and best we've ever had. I can't imagine how 2013 will be able to top it - except that I know we now will have our hands full with our little Adventure. For those of you who shared in our last year, we are thankful for and blessed by you; and we cannot wait to see what this new year has in store for all of us.